YOSOATYD (You Only Sneeze Once and Then You Die)
*Disclaimer: Blood and death present in this story. Viewer discretion is advised.
People say that there was a time when people lived past the age of twenty. It was a time when everyone’s lives weren’t hanging in the balance, and a time when it wasn’t normal for your friend to die before your eyes at any moment. This is a foreign concept to my generation. Living past the age of twenty is practically unheard of, and, if achieved, would catapult you into fame instantly. Almost everyone has witnessed at least one person die in front of them. Kids don’t have parents, and each generation must reproduce early if there’s a chance if living to see your child for a few years. This is all normal to us. All of these facts are just a part of life; a life that can be ripped away by such a small bodily reaction- a sneeze.
It was the first day of school. Unlike previous years, I woke with a sense of dread. Not due to the prospect of imminent death, but because today was the day that I had to make a choice. It was possibly the most important choice of my life. Should I choose Chad? Or should I choose Topher? My heart was torn, I had not yet decided who to give it to. I had been struggling with it for months. I was hoping that the answer would come to me in the moment. I got out of bed and flipped on the news station to listen to the update on the latest deaths as I got ready for school. The deaths were announced in a similar style as the Hunger Games. Each morning, the headshots of all those who had died in a certain area were displayed on the news.
“There have been many many many many many deaths over the night, as usual,” the radio host announced in her chipper voice. “Famous deaths include that one guy who spilt from One Direction, the President’s daughter, and that man who started a cult who was convinced that the early deaths were being caused by the Hillary Clintmom. Traffic flow is running normally this morning, but, as usual, watch for sudden deaths, and please pull over if you feel a sneeze coming on. Just because you’re about to die, doesn’t mean we all have to due to your out-of-control vehicle. The weather will be warm and sunny with a high of 83 degrees. And finally, as you all know, the human race is doomed.”
The death announcements for lesser known civilians in my area were scrolled across the screen next, but no one that I knew had died. I grabbed my bags and ran out to catch the bus. Topher and I rode the same bus, and I knew he would be wanting an answer as soon as he saw me. Sure enough, he looked expectant as I boarded the bus. I wasn’t ready! I didn’t know who to choose!
“I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding”
“Electricity shot through me”
It all started when ………….. became president
